So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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