i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
