I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize