So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
