She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
