I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
