That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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