"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
