Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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