is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
is it fun? or sober?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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