Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
