JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just gift wrapped bread.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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