Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
