yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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