I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
