Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
