I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
