remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
