i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
