How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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