No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
