You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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