Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
