he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
being pregnant is like rehab
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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