Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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