$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
