Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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