Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
