I don't usually arrange sex via text message
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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