i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
