3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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