You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
This baby is an asshole
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
