I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
