i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
