Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
