Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
