I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
