Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
