garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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