i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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