Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
