I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
