Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
