are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
