White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
