I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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