I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
