this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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