apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
