why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
