Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
