And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
