yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
