i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
